Though Kody admits he still “struggles” to accept his new “reality,” he tells PEOPLE he hopes his ex-wives Janelle, Christine and Meri “find happiness”
Kody Brown is trying to focus on the positive after the demise of three of his four marriages.
While speaking to PEOPLE about his relationships with each of his former wives, the Sister Wives star, 54, reveals that he, Christine, Janelle, Meri and Robyn Brown are all at “different” points in “accepting” and “rejecting” the changes that have come with the end of their decades-long polygamous arrangement.
“Every one of us is having our own struggle with the reality of this experience,” he explains. “Every one of us is having a struggle with the fact that we have years together and now we’re dissatisfied enough to say we can’t work this out anymore.”
The Brown family patriarch adds that everyone’s has had “good days and bad days” during their collective experiences “going through divorce.”
“It is sad,” he admitted. “It is heartbreaking. You’re looking for answers in a state of confusion. Once again, the only answer you can make if you want to have a good relationship is moving forward with a lot of charity.”
Kody says that sense of “charity” includes “giving that forgiveness,” not only to “yourself” but also to all those involved and “our differences.”
“There’s just no other thing that you can do. We’re moving forward,” he continues, though they’ve been moving forward “mostly separately.”
“How do you do that when it feels like such a deep betrayal?” he asks. “And yet my logical mind says, ‘Everybody’s just looking for happiness here. Everybody’s just looking for that space where they’re happy. We might not have been happy together. What the blessing will be is if we’re going to break up, let’s please find happiness after that.’ But that’s a process.”
Within a span of 14 months, three of the Sister Wives patriarch’s marriages imploded. Kody’s third wife Christine was the first to leave in November 2021. A year later in December 2022, it was revealed that he had separated from his second wife Janelle. A month after that, his union with first wife Meri was confirmed in January after the pair’s relationship had been platonic and distant for years. Robyn is his only remaining wife.
“You have to express forgiveness to the people you’ve been involved with,” Kody tells PEOPLE. “You have to express understanding and hope that at the end of an era for us as a family, we still have hope of a friendship and a loving or kind relationship with each other in the future because we’re bound forever through our kids.”
Talking to PEOPLE, Robyn confessed that her sister wives’ departure triggered a “huge upheaval” in Kody’s self-image in addition to new challenges in their marriage.
“Kody has been going through a lot and he’s dealt with a lot of frustration and anger and hurt and betrayal, and I’m going through my own emotions about all of it as well,” she explained. “And it’s been hard on our relationship. It’s been really hard on our relationship because I think when you’re going through a divorce, you start questioning yourself.”
The mom of three said that the demise of their plural marriage has also caused Kody to adopt “very self-sabotaging” habits, admitting, “I think he’s just been in such a dark place.”