Sister Wives – “King” Kody Brown Killed Polygamy (The King Is Dead, Long Live The King?)

For some reason, I can’t explain

Once you’d gone, there was never, never an honest word

Viva La Vida – Coldplay

In plural marriages, women are supposed to come to terms with, “sacred loneliness.” In other words, they’re supposed to suffer silently in order to keep a polygamous family intact. At some point, Christine couldn’t take it anymore. Always the most forthright of the bunch, Christine has trouble hiding her emotions. When Kody’s neglect of Christine got really extreme, she bailed out. She faced the fact that nothing would ever change.

Now, in season 18, the honest, brave and inspiring woman that is Christine is attempting to become friends with her ex, rather than baying for his blood. That’s a mature approach, but Kody sees treachery everywhere. He thinks Christine’s playing some kind of game. Like a tyrant whose power’s on the wane, he doesn’t trust anyone.

Now, he’s lost Christine, who at least told the truth. Offscreen, he’s lost everyone but Robyn, who’s known for glossing over reality. Sometimes, it seems like Robyn keeps Kody happy by lying to him and propping up his delusions. In Sister Wives season 18, his polygamous empire’s fading and destined to die.

Robyn’s still fiddling while Rome burns i.e. putting on an act onscreen. However, offscreen, she’s taking off her armor. She’s shedding her persona and showing fans who she really is. Robyn hates polygamy just as much as Meri, Janelle and Christine do, and she’s not hiding it anymore.

Plural Marriage Makes Women Miserable

Polygamy puts power into the hands of men who may not know how to wield it in mindful and compassionate ways. Some turn into less-than-benevolent dictators. Kody’s like that. Posing as a Christian crusader, Kody’s done terrible things to his less-loved spouses, and hidden behind religion. Now, he’s twisting his exes’ minds with “plural monogamy” talk that allows him to sleep only with Robyn, but maintain the illusion that he’s a polygamist.

Dictatorships are bad. They just aren’t democratic. Polygamy’s like a tiny dictatorship, and when women rebel, it doesn’t always go their way. Meri, lonely because Kody loves Robyn, not her, tried to find some type of freedom, happiness and meaning. She ended up humiliated, after being catfished by a woman posing as a man.

Did she really deserve the mockery that she got? Was she supposed to live the rest of her life without being loved? Sure, it was technically cheating, and it backfired horribly, but wasn’t she just searching for happiness? Trapped in a spiritual union that gave her no fulfillment whatever, spiritually or otherwise, her heart ached.

Meri tried to fix the situation by adding passion to her life. Afterward, Kody treated her like she was a jezebel. He might as well have sewn a scarlet letter on every one of her LuLaRoe shirts. Meanwhile, he had NOTHING to give her. This kind of catch-22 is the reason why polygamy sucks.

Kody the dictator can choose to favor any wife he wants. He can be fickle, or commit to just one woman. He can leave the others whistling in the wind. He can spend more money on one wife than another, and give more attention to his favorite’s kids. Like a tyrant, he can create an inner circle and excommunicate anyone who doesn’t measure up to whatever ideals or desires he has at any given moment.

Kody never forgave Sister Wives‘ Meri Brown, even though she had valid reasons for trying to connect with someone else. He punished Meri in many cruel ways. While he did, she may have felt that God would punish her if she left the plural marriage. So often, polygamy puts women in no-win situations. Meri’s a prime example.

In a plural marriage, the man does whatever he wants, and the women can’t make mistakes. If they do, they may lose any standing that they have in polygamous families. In that sense, they can’t be fully human. God’s supposed to forgive, but there’s no guarantee that a patriarch in a plural marriage will show mercy.

Kody’s changed, growing harsher over time. In Viva La Vida, Chris Martin plays the tyrant, singing, “People couldn’t believe what I’d become.” In Sister Wives season 18, his wives (even Robyn) just doesn’t know who he is anymore. His love for Robyn corrupted him. Kody stopped trying with the other women, and he’d vowed to be their husband too. Holding up his patriarch status like a shield, he’s on the defensive. He’s never wrong. He’s never really sorry.

Plural Marriage Makes Men Miserable