‘Sister Wives’ Is Showcasing More Heartbreak Than Ever Before
Kody Brown's wives and ex-wives have experienced heartbreak that extends beyond divorce and shakes up their personal belief system.
- The wives on TLC’s Sister Wives experience heartbreak on a national platform, challenging their belief system and their individuality.
- The show was created to educate the public on polygamy, but viewers labeled Kody as arrogant and self-centered.
- The addition of a new wife led to the breakdown of relationships, with Christine, Janelle, and Meri eventually leaving Kody and finding independence.
For the wives and ex-wives on TLC’s Sister Wives the breakdown of their marriage to Kody Brown has been life-changing in more ways one. Heartbreak is a painful reality for all of us but when that heartbreak happens on national television and makes a mockery of the belief system you’ve pledged allegiance to for the entirety of your life, it’s a very different experience. Not only are these wives dealing with the emotions of the marriage ending but the reality of their relationship with their belief system being challenged and ultimately abandoned is also a factor that overshadows the pain of losing the relationship with Kody. It’s more than just losing a husband, for many of them separating from Kody means they are learning how to function as a woman outside the confines of a religion that often strips female members of their individuality. The idea of being a “sisterwife” at its core suggests shedding ones personal identity to become a part of a team that works with one consistent goal. Attempting to “un-do” that mindset years later after realizing it doesn’t work is no small feat. Learning to think on their own while being forced to see out a new way of life changes things completely.
The Show Was Initally a Crash Course in Polygamy
Sister Wives premiered in 2010, at a time when pop culture was questioning the traditional definition of marriage. Open relationships were a hot new topic of discussion and social media along with Reality television were allowing us to see the differences in the way many people lived their lives. According to Kody Brown and his wives, Meri, Janelle, Christine and his fiancé Robyn, the goal in allowing cameras into their lives was to educate the public on their polygamist way of life and to give critics an honest glimpse into a family setting that was beneficial for all involved including the eighteen children. Kody insisted that his commitment to his wives and family had little to do with sexual gratification on his part and instead was him shouldering an often overwhelming burden for the good of the family. The first few episodes were fascinating for viewers, because the Brown’s Mormon lifestyle showed up like a blast from the past with blonde children looking like extras from Little House on the Prairie circa 1974. It didn’t take too many episodes to feel tension between the wives as they prepared for Kody and Robyn’s marriage. Robyn was the first wife to be added to Kody’s family in sixteen years, so there was palpable tension between Meri, Janelle and Christine as they watched the excitement building around Robyn with the engagement and pending marriage. Their attitudes slowly transitioned from excitement about their new bride to irritation at Kody’s dismissal of their presence and eventually to irritation at Robyn’s naivete about the situation. Viewers began speculating on the amount of damage that would be done to Kody’s relationships with the other women and how Robyn’s presence would adjust or change the family dynamic.
Kody Has Been Labled as Arrogant, at Best
Kody’s fascination with a much younger, much more excited Robyn soon had the other wives in their feelings and critics pointed out the obvious issues with polygamy. There is no way to provide equal attention and energy to more than one wife and certainly not multiple wives. Kody was adamant the family dynamic would normalize itself once he and Robyn got settled in, and the other wives got to know her.
Another Wife Causes Further Destruction
While Kody was honeymooning with blushing bride Robyn, the state of Utah was preparing a lawsuit against the Browns on the grounds that they were violating the states criminal polygamy laws. Although the criminal charges were ultimately dismissed years later, but internal damage had already been done. Whether the television cameras added arrogance to Kody’s dictatorship energy or the uncertainty of the pandemic coupled with relocating from Utah to Las Vegas, provided space for the women to reflect on the hypocrisy of their lifestyle, the end result was a train wreck of dissolution of several relationships.
Christine was the first to check out, which was easily predicted because Robyn’s presence took the most attention away from her. Christine was Kody’s second wife and often acted as the glue connecting the other wives and the household, but Kody’s blatant neglect after falling in love with a much younger and innocent Robyn was enough to wake Christine up and give her the strength to find a life outside of polygamy. Christine was an anchor and when she mustered up the strength to leave and to embrace the possibility of a new life outside Kody’s domination, it offered hope to both Meri and Janelle. Christine sold her property to Kody and Robyn and moved on with her life. Within three years of her initial departure, Christine announced a relationship with a new boyfriend and was engaged several months later.
One Wife Breaks Free
Janelle was the next Brown wife to announce she was leaving Kody and the idea of polygamy to find herself and a new life. After leaving Kody, Janelle shared her frustration at many of the ideals their husband forced upon the women in order to keep them connected to him and obedient to the laws of polygamy. She publicly ridiculed Kody’s term of “sacred lonliness” which attempted to honor the fact that wives sharing a husband would have to endure repeated periods of loneliness. Meri’s exit was the hardest to watch as she’d been with Kody the longest and had probably endured the most neglect at the hand of Kody. The marriage was often referred to as “sexless” and Meri was often labeled as mean or jealous of the other women. On January 10, 2023, fans were relieved to see Meri finally got the strength to announce her split from Kody. Since then, she’s taken to social media sharing her new life of exploration and getting to know herself. She recently posted a powerful message on her Instagram page from the Museum of Ice Cream in NY. Her post reads:
“You don’t need to earn anything, prove anything or be anything other than who you are. You deserve love, you deserve to be seen and heard, and you deserve to exist as you are and in your full glory, simply because you’re YOU! We all have moments where we feel unworthy, or feel like we have to prove something, or even worse allow other people’s opinions of pressures of the world around us, to dictacte who we are,” she added. “Let’s stop that! Let’s step into our power, and simply BE! Let’s cheer on those around us to simple BE! Let’s Worthy Up! Worth up with my Friends! We got this! #WorthyUp #GreatnessBeginsToday #NewYorkStateofMind”
At 52 years old, Meri’s post reflects a woman who has just discovered her power. ‘Sisterwives’ was brought to TLC with the intent of educating the public on the truth behind polygamy and thirteen years later the show has proved exactly why polygamy is criticized on a global platform. It’s impossible to keep women obedient and content with living under the dominant rule of a man in a toxic patriarchal environment without mental manipulation and robbing those women of their independence. Once women have regained their sense of self and grasp how powerful they are, the polygamous house will fall much like Kody Brown’s has.
There is bittersweet triumph in watching Meri, Christine and Janelle find their voices on a public platform at various ages and stages of womanhood. Hopefully their reality TV narrated journey’s will act as a catalyst for other women struggling under the oppression of patriarchy in various forms to wake up and begin the journey to self-discovery.
